Kinsey and the Rolling Stones...

Soooo, I haven't written anything in more than two months (don't judge me) but I did manage to scrape something together for my friend Tricia at the Southern Spark about (what else) Kinsey!

Tricia writes about food, travel, and family (three of my favorite things) in the Charlotte and Asheville, North Carolina area as well as Charleston, South Carolina.  Kinsey and I can personally attest that these are some awesome places to travel.

Tricia is participating in NoNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and is a little bit busy churning out 50,000 words in 30 days, so she asked a few of her friends to guest post on her blog.  I was so flattered that she would even consider letting me write for her.

She asked that posts to be no more than 500 words.  I managed to write twice that much, and she still published it.  Please check out my post "What do the Rolling Stones and American Girls have in common?" at Southern Spark.  (Hint: it's about lessons learned from a special needs child).  You can leave a comment on Tricia's blog or back over here at Kinsey's Texas Tales.  Or both!  We would both really appreciate it!

Also, I promise to start writing more on Kinsey's Texas Tales.  It's like getting back on the horse right?

Meet Amy - Kinsey's New American Girl Doll!

Kinsey has been badgering me to write a "Kinsey Pink" post (her name for Kinsey's Texas Tales) for a week now.  I have put her off for various reasons, none of which are any good.  Today guilt set in, and am letting her control the photos (Picmonkey.com) and the general content.  She dictated what to write and I interpreted it.  Lucky for you I put the kabosh on the minutia including details on how we slept.  Very well, by the way.   

Hey Ya'll!  Guess what happened last Saturday?  My family drove to Dallas to visit the American Girl  store for my 20th birthday!  After reviewing the AG website for the past 3 months I had compiled a list of clothes that I wanted to purchase for Angie and Sassy.

Nothing was too good for my girls and I managed to select over $500 worth of clothes and salon services.  (And this didn't even include a new doll.)  My dad soundly rejected this proposal and told me I had to eliminate (gasp!) a bunch of clothes.  And so with a heavy heart, I had to slash my clothes budget by more than 50%.

Where was Tim Gunn when I needed him?

On the 3-hour drive to Dallas, I mentioned that I would really like to have a doll with red hair and blue eyes just like my Grandma Ruth.  Prior to this declaration, my mom and dad said I would never get a 3rd doll, as Angie and Sassy were already a lot of work for a single mom.

Can you say Open Sesame, because this was apparently all I needed to utter to realign my mother's position on doll number three.  After that, my dad lost all traction on the "no more dolls" front and quietly accepted his fate.

Besides, I was the one paying for the doll and the clothes with my birthday cash and JCP earnings.

We checked into our hotel first (the one that I discovered on the Internet) and my day got even better.  You see, this was one of the hotels that offered an American Girl package and because it was my birthday, the manager gave me a cool American Girl doll bed.

It is so awesome to be me!

After we had dropped off our suitcases we drove to the American Girl store.  I could barely contain my excitement when we drove into the Galleria.  I might have even screamed a little bit in the car, only shattering a few eardrums.

I couldn't help myself, I was super happy!  I was at the American Girl promised land and we were steps away from selecting my third doll.  I didn't know exactly what she was going to look like, but when I saw #17 described as: "long auburn hair with bangs, blue eyes, and fair skin" I knew I had met someone special.

She was no longer #17, but was renamed Amy.

With doll in hand (thanks dad for helping me pick her out!) it was time to buy Amy some new clothes!  She came with a cute outfit, but she needed pink (naturally) pajamas and a smashing new outfit to wear to a wedding will be attending in Northern California.

And of course, Angie and Sassy also got some new threads.  I mean, what girl doesn't want new clothes?  Mom took lots of pictures but refused to create another American Girl video for me like she did last year.  (I hate it when she does not bend to my will.)

After I had depleted my cash, it was time to put the party into overdrive and have dinner at the Luxe Cafe, (the sister restaurant to The Cheesecake Factory) that was just a few doors away from the AG store.  My parents kept muttering under their breath about "needing wine, lots of wine" after we left the store so I guess they were really, really happy about me getting doll number three.

I can't believe I have to wait another 359 days till I turn 21.

Do you think there are any plans to open up an American Girl store in Las Vegas by next September? Because, I am so there if they do!

Move Over Elf on the Shelf - Introducing the Bear in the Chair

Until recently, I had no idea who the "elf on the shelf" was, and what nefarious role he played in keeping children from being placed on Santa's dreaded naughty list.

(For those of you who have, until now, been blissfully unaware of who the Elf on the Shelf is, he is one of Santa's spies.  Personally, I think he is one of Santa's creepier elves who has been given the authority to spy on children (with the parent's permission of course) and then send covert reports to Santa when "said child" mouth off to her parents, hits their sibling, refuses to cooperate, or other heinous crimes - including but not limited to lack of teeth brushing.)

Or so I have been told.

Thankfully, this Christmas marketing ploy Jedi mind trick wasn't around when my first two kids were being threatened daily, (I mean gently reminded) during the month of December to "be good" or Santa wouldn't make an appearance on December 25th.

Right.  As if that would happen.

But I'm straying from the point.  As usual.

The point is, Kinsey's 20th birthday is tomorrow.  When she hasn't been lobbying for more American Girl dolls, clothes, or accessories, she's been asking for this GIANT stuffed bear every time we go to Costco.

We finally relented, and it is amazing how many different places he is showing up around the house.  Like the powder room, to do his business!

So move over, "elf on the shelf" there is someone much bigger, and fluffier, and nicer who likes to appear in strange places all over the house.  With a little help from his friend Kinsey!

Did you know Kelly Clarkson has a new boyfriend AND has lost 30 pounds?  At least, that is what Bear told me.

A 6 word post

When asked to write a story in six words, Ernest Hemingway responded: 

“For sale: Baby shoes. Never worn.”

I was challenged by a fellow blogger to write a six word story.  While I would never dream of putting my writing in the same category of Ernest Hemingway, I decided to give it a try.

Since Kinsey will be turning 20 freaking years old on September 16th, I came up with this six word story.

Born "damaged", thriving at age 20!

Dr. Kinsey gives her American Girl doll a heart transplant!

Any surgeon knows you need excellent surgical equipment, and the Fisher-Price Doctor kit fills the bill!

Most of the time, I enjoy being a mom, and doing mother-daughter sort of things.  Shopping, going to the movies, and dinner dates rank high at the top of my list.

However, when it comes to open-ended play (you know, like playing with dolls, complete with funny, high-pitched voices) not so much.

As a matter of fact, I'd rather stick a fork in my eye than play with dolls.

When I'm forced given the opportunity to play a game with Kinsey, I generally prefer a game with a beginning, middle, and most definitely an end.

Like cards, or a board game.  You start, you play, and then someone (anyone for God's sake!) is declared "the winner" so we can do something else.  Like maybe do the dishes.  That sounds like fun doesn't it?

The one person in our family who seems to have endless amounts of patience with Kinsey when it comes to imaginary games, is her brother Ryan.

Who knew a 26-year old could actually stand to play dolls - particularly ones that need endless amounts of surgery?

So when he came home for a visit late last night, that was exactly what Kinsey wanted him to do with her this morning.  Being that his plane arrived at 3:15 am due to mechanical difficulties he was less than enthusiastic about this demand request.

Guess who was asked to play dolls in his stead?

Yes, yours truly.

Since Kinsey loves watching American Girl doll videos on You Tube, I figured why not kill two birds with one stone.  Not only will I will play dolls with Kinsey, but I will film it at the same time!  Feeling somewhat magnanimous I decided to even supply the script and the voices.

I bet the video will even go viral, and within a week a Today show producer will be asking me to fly to New York City so Matt Lauer can interview me about my amazing parenting skills.  And with my new-found fame, I'll undoubtedly be nominated for Mother of the Year after "someone" sees this video on You Tube.

And so with great fanfare, I present "Dr. Kinsey gives her American Girl doll a heart transplant!"

After I filmed this, then painstakingly edited it, and uploaded it to You Tube, I showed it to my husband.  And do you know what he said?

He said, "You sound really bossy.  I think you should redo this."

"Bossy?!" I sputtered indignantly.  "I was trying to move this production along.  That's not being bossy, that's being a great director."

"And while we are at it, I'm not just the director, I'm also the writer, the videographer, the editor, and one of the stars of this movie."

For crying out loud, I just spent 6 minutes playing!

With a freaking doll!

Don't I get credit for doing that?!

Redo my ass!

Does this mountain make my butt look big?

In July (yeah this post really is that overdue!) we spent 24 fun-filled hours in Fredericksburg.  This is definitely one of our favorite places to visit in the Texas hill country, and we made sure to cram as much into our visit as possible.

Our stay included lodging at a romantic inn (I guess that made me the 3rd wheel huh?), shopping for American Girl doll clothes (clearly all about ME), dining at our favorite restaurant in Fredericksburg to celebrate my "girls" birthday (again, all about ME) and climbing a big pink mountain (definitely not about ME).

You see, last March we climbed Enchanted Rock with about 1,000 other sweaty people, and their complaining children, and it took forever to get up the mountain.  (Think an unbroken chain of ants in their unrelenting search for a cookie.)  Did I forget to mention that it was spring break and taking your child on a forced march seemed to be on every parent's mind?

This year we decided to go during one of the hottest months of the year (wha???), but hit the trail at 8 am to beat the heat and the crowds.

No big surprise (hello? July 5th!) it was free of climbers so we were able to storm the mountain without anyone getting in our way, or stepping off the trail too many times so the speedsters could get passed us.

Clearly this is the park entrance, and our ultimate destination - THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN - is in site.

Even the most inexperienced hiker can figure out which path you take to get to the top of the mountain, but for those who are unsure, this nifty directional sign points the way.  This also provided a popular prop for every mother with a camera who wanted to document a family outing.  Sigh...

Clearly we took the summit trail.  Like there was any question!

And if you were still confused as to which way was up, this rock helped point the way.  Thanks to the spring rains, there were still plenty of Texas wildflowers blooming all along the trail.  And look, there is even greenery - in Texas - in July!

Me: "How much further till we get to the top of the mountain?"  (Insert long, whining tone)

Dad: "We're almost there Kinsey.  It's just a zig and a zag.  You can do this!"

Me: (Moaning) "Oh God!  That means we still have a lot further to go.  You tried to trick me with that zig and zag nonsense when we were at Disney World.  Now I know you are lying!"

I am so not happy with this situation.

At last, we have made it to the top!  Can't you see how pleased I am?  Not!

Dad, Mom and a rather grumpy looking Kinsey

After a little attitude adjustment (I believe I was promised a breakfast pastry) I was ready to smile for the camera.  (As if I had a choice.)

Yup! I was forced to put the universal everything is OK "thumbs up" sign strictly through coercion

And after that invigorating, early morning workout, I believe I could even move a mountain!

Right, this is totally NOT a posed picture.

I have to admit, it did feel pretty good to get the top of Enchanted Rock, especially because it meant we got to turn around and climb back down the mountain!  We scaled the mountain in record time, and shaved off at least 20 minutes from our trip last March.

But wait! This is only part one of our Fredericksburg trip recap.  Tomorrow (better make that Sunday) I have some great pictures to share about where we stayed, the cat we almost brought home, and the American Girl birthday party we had at the Navajo Grill!  Plus, my mom took a great  picture of a sunflower that I know you will all want to "pin" onto Pinterest.